Over the last year, we've been contacted by hundreds of supposed Duanes! and we are fed up with it all. We want Duane! and we want Duane! now! This Friday, at the Music Box Theatre at 10:30 PM, could the real Duane please step forward. If you do not, I cannot say what Ghoul Skool will do...

(Duane, you should probably buy your ticket pre-sale, so you can get a seat)